The Wave and also the Ocean
Hola Reader,
Last time I wrote, it had been a tough week to be an American. This week, the challenge is more personal. So my reflection is what it is this week. What I had in my cup. That's a part of the lesson of this practice, I suppose. Sharing what I have to share, no judgement on how much or how often. Thank you for your support and grace.
Reflection
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Staring at a blank page, I can offer no more than what is stirring within me right now. In the last 48 hours an intuitive sense was confirmed: my 95 year old grandfather is unwell. The emotional tickle I had been sensing for the past month or more, urging me to pick up the phone, makes sense now.
My family, not wanting me to worry during my pregnancy, had shielded me from my Grandfather's Alzheimers diagnosis and the fact that he had been put in a home and been in and out of the hospital for months.
Suddenly, the reality faced by so many in this time is crashing into me like a strong wave in a turbulent sea. I am thousands of miles away, but even if I wasn't, I could not see my Grandfather. Visitation is incredibly restricted due to COVID. And even if I could visit, my Grandfather would most likely not be able to recognize me.
There are so many layers of this experience for me, but I suppose the dominant feeling is one of confusion. I don't know what to do with myself, mostly because there is truly very little that I can do.
The permanent impermanence of nature's cycles is not lost on me. Here I am, facing the possibility of loss while also preparing to welcome a new life. Here I am, living my own personal experience that mirrors so many millions of others in this era of loss and transformation. As I birth my child, I will be connected to the entire history of the human race, to billions of women who have birthed. Loss would be no different. A uniquely personal experience that is also universally human.
I know you'll pardon the winding nature of this reflection, the lack of clarity of message, perhaps. Often, words help me make sense of what is roiling in my interior...even if the flow of those words may confuse those around me. Sometimes, talking or writing with no clear goal in mind can allow the lessons to surface. The silt to settle and the clarity to emerge in its own time.
I write because those I love are going through their own processes. Because what I might say aloud wouldn't make any sense anyhow. Because no number of words spoken can change what might have been and what may be tomorrow. Because, somehow, filling this empty page with some part of what is in my heart, is a balm for its sorrows.
Audio-Visual Landscape
I shared Trevor Hall's album In and Through the Body in this space back in September. I found my way back to the album this week, in particular the song Great Storm Clouds. The lyrics invoke the challenge of surrendering and the cycles of life, which is potent medicine for me as I approach the birth of my second child and grapple with the possibility of loss at the same time.
Dot Connecting
In some twist of timing, this week also happens to hold an exciting professional development for me. We are launching the sales of Supercharge Your Productivity* - a course taught by friend and mentor Khe Hy. I have the honor of serving as a Teaching Assistant during this cohort of the class and I am truly excited to share this content.
SYP is more than a productivity course. Yes, we teach students how to build personal operating systems in Notion, and providing frameworks for productivity. The beauty of this course, though, is that it invites students to dig deeper and ask why? We pride ourselves on helping folks create systems that surface and prioritize the truly important aspects of life. My own experience learning with Khe and developing my system in Notion has helped me launch and maintain this letter, build a profitable business, and make meaningful progress towards my personal and professional goals.
If you're interested in the course, feel free to reach out to me with questions!
Be good to yourselves,
Kate
*affiliate link
Kate Andlund
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